My only experience with the paranormal happened 3 or 4 years back. I was home alone at the computer. Dad was at work, mom was out grocery shopping, and my sister was out with her friends. This was back when she was still in her fugly phase, her dark ages to be exact. She had a stringy, limp and oily haircut that hung to her shoulders and her idea of fashion was a t-shirt and cargo pants. She had yet to discover skirts and the colour pink.

But I digress. So I was at the computer, and my sister was due home any time soon. I think I was porn-surfing or something because I was jumpy when the doorbell rang. I was into jap porno at the time, though why I felt the need to tell you that, I don't know. So the doorbell rang, and as I was upstairs at the time, I jumped up and walked over to the big window in my parents' room which overlooks the garden and gate. There at the gate, with a sour face and in clothes I knew she owned but wasn't wearing that day, was my sister in the flesh. I assume "she" was made of flesh. The car which had dropped her off was gone, and since I'd taken awhile to yank up my shorts or stop whatever it was that I was doing before taking my time to make my way to the window, I assumed she was pissed that nobody was home.

Being the nice brother that I am, I ran downstairs and pressed the switch which swung open the gates. But when I stepped outside, she was already gone. I assumed that she'd got back into whichever car which had dropped her off, thinking noone was home. So I left the gate open, hoping that the driver of the car would notice the open gate in his rearview mirror. I waited awhile before stepping outside to see if the car was still somewhere down the road, but it wasn't.

Oh well.

She arrived home an hour or two later, in different clothes as when I saw her at the gate. I queried her, "Eh did you come home just now?"

"Nooo."

"Funny." I related my story to her and she freaked out and broke out in goosebumps and peed her fugly unfashionable shorts and pulled out her oily hair and burst the mass of pimples on her forehead. It didn't seem freaky to me at the time, nor does it now, but the story goes that if you meet your own doppelgänger, it's an omen of death.

Ok, thanks to Wikipedia, I've answered a question my sister and I have long shared: what if a relative sees your doppelgänger? Apparently it "may sometimes bring bad luck, or indicate an approaching illness or health problem." Hmm can't recall anything shitty happening in the aftermath.

Alright enough serious shit. While the missus is away, her family has been hosting a Japanese youth exchangee by the name of Mami. Her name naturally became the butt of some very bad jokes. Anyway, the Lions Club held a farewell dinner at some posh club and I followed the in-laws there, with Marcus the Horny Drooler With A Penchant For Nubile Japanese Girls in tow.

Imagine our surprise when we spotted London Nerd Adrian Tan mingling amongst nubile japanese girls. But of course it wasn't him, it was some Jap mofo who had on a Baju Melayu and a songkok which made us laugh even harder considering Adrian's...erm, distaste for such things, but the similarity was astounding.



London Nerd? <------------------------------------------------------> Jap mofo?

I know, I know, I look better than the both of them.

A thought: if I kicked the jap mofo squarely in the nuts, Adrian might feel them twins hurting like there's no tomorrow, 325623057816 miles away in Nottingham. I think I'll give it a shot at the airport tomorrow, before the jap mofo leaves.

Bottom line: doppelgängers are cool shits.