A sure sign of a blogger dying a slow and painful death from dearth of ideas is when he's cutting and pasting conversations as posts instead of writing.

But this is too fucking good to pass up.

If you've been reading Suet's blog, you'd have known about the little 15-year old shit who stole her pics from her blog and henceforth claimed her to be his girlfriend, with the photos as proof of matrimony. Today, the friend who sold the little shit out told us he was "hurt that his girlfriend Suet played him out" when he read her blog. And apparently he's still adamant that they are still together.

We got the little shit's MSN contact, and I duly added him up. My plan was for me to put up a photo of us together, then message him to see what he says. He messaged me first instead. It went like this:


Little shit says:
ur gf
Little shit says:
very preety i see

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
do you know her?

Little shit says:
yeah

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
really? how do you know her?

Little shit says:
bcoz..i noe lar
Little shit says:
dun ask too much question

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
bball? scouts?
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
oh wait lemme guess
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you're some fucking chickenshit who stole her pic and claimed she's your gf?

Serene Liew Suet Li has been added to the conversation.

Little Shit has left the conversation.


I messaged him again. Persistence pays.


Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
why did you run away?
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
talk to her at least
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you're friends aren't you?

Little shit says:
i did not run
Little shit says:
who said i ran
Little shit says:
n..btw...ur freaking chick...she sent me her pics..
Little shit says:
n....she asked me to b her gf...
Little shit says:
not the other way round

Serene Liew Suet Li has been added to the conversation.

Little shit says:
ask her
Little shit says:
btw..suet..
Little Shit says:
i found this..
Little Shit says:
http://sweatlee.blogdrive.com

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
tht's MY blog

Little Shit says:
i noe

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
eh i thought you guys were friends!

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
and btw, im 17. not 15 like u are
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
i would never ask a young 15 year old to become my boyfriend

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
so you don't even know him???


It went on like that. I went on being sarcastic. He tried to prove to use that Suet had sent him a billion pictures that were NOT stolen from her blog, and that she must have somehow forgotten asking a 15 year old to be her steady. Then he turned abusive:


Little Shit says:
i dun give a FUCK man
Little Shit says:
u noe wartu 2 love birds...should reli get a life..
Little Shit says:
get a religion

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
u should get A life

Little Shit says:
wat a bloody bitch u are
Little Shit says:
n i bliff liars goto hell..

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
ok we'll see who reach there first

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
which religion promotes stealing?
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
see that pic you have on now? that was taken in MY car

Little Shit says:
FUCK hole..

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
ivan, u didnt answer the most important question

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
are you a shithead? that's the most important question.


Suet was incredibly patient and nice throughout. I would have torn his loins off already.


Serene Liew Suet Li says:
listen young boy, u dont talk to us like tht
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
and it's not very nice of u to curse us to go to hell when u aint sure of the truth

Little Shit says:
im making a FUCKING point

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
oh, like we're not

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
your point is erroneous, and you should wash your mouth with soap


It took awhile, and a lot of cursing, but we surmised that he had been played out by someone pretending to be Suet's brother, and who also pretended to be Suet herself. "Suet" then made Little Shit fall madly in love with her over the course of a month, all by chatting with him through her "brother" Jevan's MSN account. Like, WTF, I know. But of course, this doesn't mean that the fun stops here. Oh, no.


Little Shit says:
i talked to 'suet' throught jevan acc
Little Shit says:
today..i read her blog..
Little Shit says:
how tha Fuck can i spoil her mood when i wasnt even talking to her
Little Shit says:
wat u gotta say now

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
yeah but bottom line is, you used her pics. you told ppl she's your gf (I hadn't quite understood the situation yet)
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
and stop cursing you sonofabitch


You can tell I was having the time of my life.


Serene Liew Suet Li says:
ok so clearly, we were played by jevan
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
i dunno how jevan know me. maybe thru my blog
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
i am the REAL suet.
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
and he played u, ok ivan? not me
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
u should get that straight and don't go around telling ppl im a bitch cause i played u
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
which i clearly didnt cause i dunno who are u

Little Shit says:
explain sumthing
Little Shit says:
how did i spoilt ur mood when i wasnt talking to u
Little Shit says:
explain it..
Little Shit says:
now

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
he's so scary lah suet
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
we're being challenged by a 15 year old!

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
u can spoil my mood cause some random guy i obviously know nthg about tell ppl im his gf and said i played him

Little Shit says:
how tha Fuck did u noe i told ppl u were my gf

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
that's not the point

Little Shit says:
shutup 1st

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you shut up you shit


Then Suet lost her cool. Which means you all can go buy a lottery ticket and give me half the winnings if you win, and give the other half to Suet.


Serene Liew Suet Li says:
3 ppl told me tht
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
FUCKER U LISTEN TO ME

Little Shit says:
shut tha FUck up///
Little Shit says:
im not a fucker
Little Shit says:
im sure u guys r

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
hahah you will never fuck anyone

Little Shit says:
oh..guess wat..
Little Shit says:
i did...

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
who? your hand? snigger


GASP! The morals of kids these days, as loose as a 73-year old whore's cunt. But of course, he was only trying to sound big and scary, and a big scary fucker at that. My oh my.

Then he sent me a voice clip purportedly sent to him by "Suet", which was pathetic. I couldn't hear a word on the damn thing, save for a soft sexless giggle/murmur/whisper. The poor sonofabitch, he even titled the voice file "SWEET VOICE". He'd been fucked over by some Indian (I'm assuming Jevan's an Indian name) named Jevan and he still didn't get it; he was convinced we were the ones fucking him over.

According to him, God knows what we're doing and that we're headed for hell.

Cue for you to laugh.


Serene Liew Suet Li says:
if u wanna settle tis nicely, start with ur manners

Little Shit says:
wat now
Little Shit says:
im freaking pissed k

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you're not the only one

Little Shit says:
y u pissed pulak

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
cos we're obviously being played here

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
because it's my pic
Serene Liew Suet Li says:
and he's my boyf?

Little Shit says:
im not playing u guys. u guys are playing me

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
he said WE. we as in you me him

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
leave it lah, he hasn't learned proper english yet
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
him being only a wee 'un


Then, we turned juvenile. Actually, just me. He is technically still a juvenile.


Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you've been fucked by jevan lah you dumb shithead

Little Shit says:
dude..im not cursing k

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
you called me a pig

Little Shit says:
pig isnt cursing

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
alright, i'll call you a dog. bow wow.

Little Shit says:
call lar. lyk i care

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
ok so dog, you've been screwed by jevan

Little Shit says:
watevar bitch

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
and bitch isn't cursing?

Little Shit says:
nope. its a term for female DOGS

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
faggot

Little Shit says:
nigga

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
hahah so cute lah you

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
u guys are talking abt irrelevant stuff

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
i know, but he's too funny lah

Little Shit says:
go away. i just wanna talk to suet

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
alright i'll stay here but i won't say a word

Little Shit says:
no
Little Shit says:
cannot
Little Shit says:
go awaty

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
awwww i pwomiiiiise

Little Shit says:
or ill make sum shits up on the net

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
i'll be a gooood boy
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!11

Little Shit says:
dun u think im 15..i dunno shits

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE UP SOME SHITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
OMG WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY ABOUT ME?????????
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL PPL I'M........"STUPID???????"
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
my my you're a scary man
Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
alright i'll leave

Little Shit says:
suet make him leave

Serene Liew Suet Li says:
im enjoying the drama. heh


I know, juvenile. Go make silly faces behind my back now will you. I eventually left the both of them to haggle things out. After two years, he finally realized that he had been screwed by someone else. He asked Suet to take down her "defamatory" post on him, a request which she flatly rejected, and she asked him to tell everyone that he'd told about his NEW GIRLFRIEND that he had been had, to which he agreed. All's well that ends well. We also got "Jevan's" MSN contact, so we can play the same mindfuckgames on him next time. I'll ask him "Darling, why did you change your email? Darling, let's have sex," and we'll see what he says.

Then Little Shit found out how old I am:


Little Shit says:
btw ur having ur spm or only her

Barry Ooi Eu Hock says:
i'm 19 lah dude

Little Shit says:
...
Little Shit says:
*goggle-eyed emoticon*


And then he tried to be my best friend by asking about my education plans and if we could all hold hands while ice-skating and share Slurpees next week.

The power of age.

Wtf.